Thursday, August 20, 2009

Disappointment in our Kids

What do you do when your child disappoints you?

We caught Jordan in a lie yesterday. Not just any lie - but a lie that had been compounded by lie after lie after lie. I was so sad when the truth finally came out. I was/am so disappointed in her.

I remember when I was growing up that it was one thing to make my parents upset but I never wanted them to be disappointed in me. That hurt me more than anything.

The incident with Jordan was all centered around her cell phone. I debated for months whether or not she was ready for a cell phone. I wasn't sure that she was ready for that extra responsibility. We dropped our house phone a while back to save money...and the fact that no one ever called us on it - so we knew if Jordan was going to ride the bus and be home alone - then she would need a way of contacting us to let us know she was home safe and if she needed anything.

Apparently, one of her friends wanted to "see" her phone on Tuesday afternoon - but when Jordan got ready to get off the bus, she wouldn't give it back. Now, Jordan has always been one of those children that can "make friends with a lamp post" (as I like to say). She's very friendly and she doesn't want to make anyone mad. So, I'm sure she didn't want to make a scene with this girl. But, from the minute she stepped off the bus without her phone...she began to lie about it - saying she had left it at school in her locker.

Well, last night I learned that was a lie when I was checking her phone and saw that there were texts made when it was "supposedly" left at school in her locker. She finally came clean and told us what happened.

I told her that little girl was NOT her friend. Friends don't take things from you and refuse to give them back. This, hopefully, will be a huge lesson for her to show that you can't trust everyone...that not everyone has your best interests at heart.

I don't expect Jordan to be perfect. I wasn't and it's not fair of me to expect it of her.
"for ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." ~ Romans 3:23
But, this is the first time she has just out-and-out lied...over and over...trying to cover her tracks, and that just breaks my heart. I want to be able to trust her - to count on her...but she has broken that trust and will have to earn it back.

Parenting is just getting harder and harder as she gets older. Wanting to trust her and treat her like the young lady that she is becoming, and not like the child that she was...trying to show her the right paths to follow - yet, feeling like a failure when she let's me down.

2 comments:

Laura Lee Zinn said...

uggh, middle school is so hard:( Especially for girls! They try so hard to make friends and at the same time experience so many hurts due to both those "friends" and their own lack of experience. She will continue to both disappoint and make you proud as she makes her way through. But she is blessed to have you and Terrance there to point her down the right path. Keep up the good work!

Sarah Blair said...

I'm so sad for you! I am sure that this breaks your heart... But, it is true, middle school is a tough time and we all make stupid choices along the way. Just be sure you know that YOU are not a failure because she chose to lie! Your job is to step in and help correct her when she makes those bad choices, to help her learn the lesson now before the bad choice has lifelong consequences. I will pray for you and T as you walk with her in this and that God would guide you in the best way to respond and to teach her from this experience! You are wonderful parents.