Fun but Tasteful Halloween Costumes

If any of you are like me, you have a terrible time finding Halloween costumes for your growing girls.

Eventually, they get a little big for ladybugs, butterflies and angels and they are ready to branch out into different costumes.  But, just because she's wearing adult sizes now, does not mean I want her looking like this!

By the way...if you could get past the fact that her boobs were about to explode out of her outfit, this is a Ghostbusters costume.  Really??  I'd love to see Dan Aykroyd in this!

I have always struggled with finding costumes for Jordan since she has always been tall for her age.  We always had to buy "up" a size or two to get them to fit.  Unfortunately, that meant buying girls sizes when she was still a toddler...tween sizes when she was still a little girl...and now adult sizes when she's just 14.  Although, I've told her that she's about max-ed out the age when she should be trick-or-treating anyways - so this won't be a problem for much longer.  This is probably her last year.  But, I know there are other mom's out there that are having a hard time too.

For some reason, the costume makers think we all want to look "sexy".  I can't tell you how many "sexy" costumes are out there.  It's in the name too!  Sexy nurse, sexy flight attendant, sexy witch, the list goes on.  This is NOT okay for our kids!!  It is sending all the wrong messages to our girls!

Here are a few examples of Jordan's costumes over the past few Halloweens.

Apparently, I didn't take any pictures of her costume from last year (age 13) that showed the whole outfit, but this was it.  Super cute...not too short.  We loved it!

This was her costume the year before at , at age 12.  Super cute but yet still modest.  We had a ton of fun loading on the gold eye shadow and the fake eyelashes.

Halloween, age 11.

Halloween, age 10.

Definitely, my favorite...Halloween, age 9.

I thought we've done a pretty good job keeping her costumes fun yet modest.  On the other hand, I want to show you just a few of the "options" for our girls...  (((Just a side note...these are all found under the "teen" costumes.)))

Little Miss Riding Hood

Sexy Supergirl

Spanish Senorita

Unicorn

 Obviously, these are a HUGE "I DON"T THINK SO!!" from me.  Too short...too "sexy" and not at all appropriate for our teenage girls to be wearing.  

Am I saying that no one e.v.e.r should wear these?  Not at all...it's not my place to tell anyone (other than MY child) what they can and cannot wear.  Obviously, these would look much different on an 18 or 19 year old than on a 13 or 14 year old...but I still think they look a little on the hoochy side no matter what the age.

That's not to say there aren't cute costumes out there.  There are.  But you have to wade through a lot of bad ones to get to the good ones.  And I seriously mean A LOT!

I searched for a while this afternoon and was only able to find a few that I both 1) thought my daughter would want to wear and 2) that I would be comfortable buying for her.  Here are a few...

This raccoon was super cute, I thought.  The boots aren't included, but I think everything else is.

The Sock Hop one was really cute too.  Not too short but still fun!

Some might thing this one is a little cheesy, but I think this girl's Captain America costume is super cute!

Other than the Raccoon one, this Thor costume is my favorite.

The modest costume ARE out there.  You just have to be diligent to find them and not just give up and go the easy way out.

Thankfully, this year Jordan and a friend are dressing up like Katniss and Rue from the Hunger Games - which means cargo pants and a vest, maybe a bow and arrow.  That's my kind of costume!

Good luck to you all.  And when in doubt...you can't have too many Wonder Women out there!  :)

Lord, Give me patience...

Let me just start with the basics...

Psalm 86:15

But You, O Lord, are a compassionate and merciful God.  

You are patient and demonstrate great loyal love and faithfulness.

That is what I strive to be like as a parent...like God is with me - patient, compassionate and merciful.

Unfortunately - that is waaay far from what I actually am most of the time.  Is it what I want??  Yes.  Then why can't I seem to do it?  Why do I find myself losing my temper or raising my voice to the kids?

I know it's because I'm not perfect - that Satan wants to feed off my frustrations and my anger - to attempt to wedge himself into my life and my family.  I know that...but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with in the heat of the moment sometimes.

For starters, I just don't know if I'm ready to deal with my daughter being a teenager.  Was I that difficult???  Surely not!  ((but I surely was))  I just have this dreaded feeling that I'm not doing what I should be doing - or saying what I should be saying to raise her into the young woman I know she can be.  I know some of this is paranoia talking - but I still worry!  

Don't get me wrong - she is a great girl...sweet, funny, out-going.  But, on the other hand - she has been showing some signs of changing from that little girl that (almost) always did what we asked - to a teenager that challenges e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g!  Almost every request is followed by "why?"  What happened to "sure, mom!"?? or "ok!"??  The attitude that sometimes slips off her tongue is somewhat shocking as well.  I know that when I was that age, I thought I knew more than my mom too. I think we all do to some degree - but I have just hoped that my mother never thought I was disrespectful to her.  I am just cringing at the thought.  My mom and I are so close now (not that we weren't before, it's just really changed as I've become an adult) - I can't ever imagine speaking to her in a disrespectful way - even though I'm sure I did at some point or another.

I don't what to sound like I'm just dogging on Jordan - because I'm not.  We have a lot of fun together and do a lot of laughing...it just seems like lately - we do a lot of arguing too.  Terrance thinks it's because we are so alike that that is why we butt heads so often.  That is probably true.  I just don't want to see her make the same mistakes that I did when I was younger.  Of course - making those mistakes is what has made me the woman I am today...but I'd like to think I would have turned out pretty ok without all the mistakes too. 

I know I need to call out to God - to ask him for guidance and wisdom...

Proverbs 2. 6-9

For the Lord gives wisdom, and from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding.  He stores up effective counsel for the upright, and is like a shield for those who live with integrity, to guard the paths of the righteous and to protect the way of his pious ones.  Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity - every good way.

I need to check my temper - before it gets the best of me.  I was able to do that tonight - when she got a little much with the attitude - I was able to walk away until I was calmer.  Then later - Myles asked her for some juice (I was already in bed...getting up at 4:30 am does that to me) and she ignored him and...well, I don't really know what happened since I was in bed - but the next thing you know - there's crying and (a lot! of)blood and he's missing a tooth. I just about completely lost it then...I will admit it.

I am trying to teach her about accountability.  We talked this evening - after I got Myles calmed down and back in bed.  I told her that she can't always blame things on other people - that listening to her...things are never her fault.  It's always "they" or "her" or "he" that caused her to do whatever she did.  I told her that she needs to accept what she's done - to acknowledge what she's done - and to ask for forgiveness and apologize for what she's done.  Only then - will she start to make a change.

I see I need to do the same things in regards to my patience with them - especially with her as she enters these trying years.  I need to pray more - before I lose my temper - ask God to help me with my patience and my self-control.  I don't want to be one of those screamy/shouty mothers...but I do want to be heard without arguing all the time - and I do want respect from my kids.  I can already see where her eye rolling and attitude is starting to rub off on Myles.  

I know only God can change me - change her.  I ask that He work in my life - through my life - to help me raise my children the right, godly way.

Isaiah 40.31

But those who wait for the Lord's help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles' wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired.

When Someone Hurts Your Child

What do you do when someone hurts your child...physically, emotionally, mentally, etc? As a parent, I find this one of the hardest questions to answer. My gut instinct is to hurt that person back...my head tells me to calm down!

Let me back up and relate what happened...

Jordan has had issues with a girl from school. This is the same girl that took her cell phone a few weeks back and started all the lying and covering up issues. That time - it was an emotional hurt. The girl hurt Jordan's feelings and disrespected her. This time she physically hurt her. Jordan had borrowed the girls coat this morning because she was cold. By lunch time, she no longer needed it and she attempted to give it back. The girl threw it back at Jordan's feet and yelled at her to hang onto it - that she didn't want it back right then. Jordan picked up the jacket and went on to her next class. As she was waiting by her class for the teacher to arrive, this girl came up and yanked the jacket from her arms...hard enough to leave abrasions and burn-like marks on her arm from the jacket zipper. Her arm immediately started swelling and Jordan went to the nurse and called me.

What do you do in these situations??? Terrance and I had both warned her about this girl after the first incident. We had told her that this girl might not be a true friend to her...that she might not have Jordan's best interests in mind. But Jordan kept hanging out with her...

I know that sometimes you have to let your kids make their own mistakes...that sometimes getting hurt is the only way to learn...but that is so hard to watch as a parent. Watching her get hurt is excruciating! It's one thing to make the mistake yourself...it's another to sit here and watch her through this. It hurts my heart as her mother to see her in pain...physically and/or emotionally. It hurts to see her not wanting to go to school tomorrow because she will have to face this girl...at school and on the bus. Jordan hates confrontation...she always has. She is the girl that cried on the soccer field when she accidentaly kicked the ball and it hit another girl in the head...super-sensitive, caring, non-confrontational.

I learned this verse last year in bible study and it has become a rock for me. I read it to Jordan and told her to just trust in Him...He is with her wherever she goes...let it be the same rock to her as it has become for me.

Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Disappointment in our Kids

What do you do when your child disappoints you?

We caught Jordan in a lie yesterday. Not just any lie - but a lie that had been compounded by lie after lie after lie. I was so sad when the truth finally came out. I was/am so disappointed in her.

I remember when I was growing up that it was one thing to make my parents upset but I never wanted them to be disappointed in me. That hurt me more than anything.

The incident with Jordan was all centered around her cell phone. I debated for months whether or not she was ready for a cell phone. I wasn't sure that she was ready for that extra responsibility. We dropped our house phone a while back to save money...and the fact that no one ever called us on it - so we knew if Jordan was going to ride the bus and be home alone - then she would need a way of contacting us to let us know she was home safe and if she needed anything.

Apparently, one of her friends wanted to "see" her phone on Tuesday afternoon - but when Jordan got ready to get off the bus, she wouldn't give it back. Now, Jordan has always been one of those children that can "make friends with a lamp post" (as I like to say). She's very friendly and she doesn't want to make anyone mad. So, I'm sure she didn't want to make a scene with this girl. But, from the minute she stepped off the bus without her phone...she began to lie about it - saying she had left it at school in her locker.

Well, last night I learned that was a lie when I was checking her phone and saw that there were texts made when it was "supposedly" left at school in her locker. She finally came clean and told us what happened.

I told her that little girl was NOT her friend. Friends don't take things from you and refuse to give them back. This, hopefully, will be a huge lesson for her to show that you can't trust everyone...that not everyone has your best interests at heart.

I don't expect Jordan to be perfect. I wasn't and it's not fair of me to expect it of her.

"for ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." ~ Romans 3:23

But, this is the first time she has just out-and-out lied...over and over...trying to cover her tracks, and that just breaks my heart. I want to be able to trust her - to count on her...but she has broken that trust and will have to earn it back.

Parenting is just getting harder and harder as she gets older. Wanting to trust her and treat her like the young lady that she is becoming, and not like the child that she was...trying to show her the right paths to follow - yet, feeling like a failure when she let's me down.