Prayer FIRST...why didn't I think of that before???

I am sick...I hate being sick.  Especially since this is Easter weekend - my favorite weekend of the year.  Good Friday and Easter Sunday celebrating the Lord and His resurrection!  What is better than that??


I started feeling bad on Wednesday afternoon.  Just a little tickle in my throat that - by Thursday - was so sore it was painful to swallow.  Friday was not good.  So sore to swallow still and I was feeling really drained.  I managed to do a lot of nothing...which means I wasn't praying either...


This morning I woke up at around 3-ish am...and I had laid in bed until about midnight Friday night - so the lack of sleep wasn't helping a bit.  My throat hurt - if possible - even worse than Friday.  I could feel how swollen my glands were and was feeling really frustrated.  I got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of milk - hoping that would coat my throat some.  I reached for yet another sinus pill when I realized...I haven't asked God to take this pain away!!!  I've been reaching for the pills first - instead of God. 


I've always been bad about praying for myself.  For some reason, that doesn't come easily for me.  I will pray for the kids, for Terrance, for my family, friends - but rarely for myself.  I'm not sure why.   I guess I feel like I'm not deserving of asking for help myself.  It's stupid...I know.  I really need to get over that!


I got back in bed and prayed.  For God to take away the pain in my throat, to help me sleep and be rested for the weekend coming, to remember to go to Him first and to the drugs second.


I managed to fall back asleep fairly easily - which is an answer to prayer in itself...I usually just lay there after I've woken up.  I didn't wake up again until a little after 7 am - and...it's not cured...but it feels better than when I woke up at 3:00 am!  I actually feel like there's a little energy in me somewhere.


Prayer FIRST!!!

Mark 10:27

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; 

all things are possible with God."

After The Surgery...

Well, I thought it was time for an update after my surgery. The official name for the surgery was a tympanic mastoidectomy. Yeah, I didn't like the sound of it either.

My surgery was on Monday, October 12th at 9:00 am. I wasn't too nervous going into it. I had my book of favorite verses on my bed and I just kept reading them over and over. The one I read the most was Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Every time I would read it, I could feel myself becoming calm.

The surgery ended up lasting about 6 hours. They had said that it would be anywhere from about 3 hours to as long as 8 hours. I guess it was right about in the middle.

As soon as I woke up, I puked. Not a fun feeling. I ended up throwing up about 3 times before I was allowed to leave the hospital...then I threw up again after we got home. Yuck! Apparently, when they work in your inner ear for hours on end - it can make you a little nauseous.

I have stiches inside my ear and behind it. It hurts. I feel dizzy and tired all the time. I have zero hearing on my right side now. I thought it was bad before - but I have realized that *anything* is better than nothing. It is a really weird feeling not to be able to hear anything. Terrance said the doctor told him that it could be this way for several months before the hearing starts to come back - and then it would only be back to about 45%. I guess if i get another surgery, it might come back to about 65%. Terrance is thinking that really isn't worth it. We'll have to see on that. I'm definitely not looking forward to another surgery.

I am starting to admit that all of this has gotten me kind of depressed. But, the depression is bothering me though. I try to be an upbeat-type of person. I'm kind of a "glass half-full" type of person. But, this has really knocked me down. It's been almost a week and my face is still a little swollen and the whole area around my ear is still really sore. And!...my ear sticks out! It is not cute at all! I know that sounds shallow - but I just think that on top of not being able to hear and being nauseous - it looks funny too. I hate that it is bothering me like this - but it really is. I thought it was annoying before how much I couldn't hear - but this is so much worse.

I guess I just need to give it time. Patience is something I need to work on. I know God has a plan for all of this...I just need to wait for His timing and not be so ready for "my" timing.

Invaded By Sickness

Sickness has set in at our house in a major way. Jordan started with a sore throat and chills Saturday night. By Sunday night, her fever was up to 103.1. That is really high. She was listless and chilling. I called the doctor and they told me to alternate Tylenol and Motrin (ibuprofen) every 3 hours. Tylenol alone was just not bringing it down.

Look at those eyes...she is sick. :(

Finally, her fever started coming down - but today (Wednesday) is the first day that she has woken up without a fever. Yeah!! Myles and I both started running fevers Monday night. Mine was up to 102.9 yesterday. I was freezing cold at times - then burning up an few hours later. It was making me crazy!

Myles and I both still had fevers this morning when we woke up - but they have since gone away. Hopefully, they will stay gone. I can live with the coughing - but the fever is wearing me out. That, and the fact that none of us has had much of an appetite...poor Terrance is starving since no one is fixing any food. :)

I finally got Myles to take a nap yesterday. If the floor is where he chooses to sleep - then that is ok with me.

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Cholesteatoma

Apparently I have a cholesteatoma. Yeah...I didn't know what that was either. It sounded like a cross between cancer and high cholesterol. I had never heard of it.
I have been experiencing a "plugged" feeling in my ears for about 6+ months. I have been to my regular doctor 3 times about this and never got anything more than ear drops. I tried to tell them that I thought it was more than just an infection...that something else was going on. I finally asked for a referral to an ENT. I had to go back the third time before they actually got one for me. Kind of frustrating. I haven't had any pain with it - just a loss of hearing...which in my case is not good. I have had chronic ear infections since I was small. There was a long break between junior high and into my mid to late 20's where I didn't have hardly any, but when Myles was born in 2004, I started having them fairly regularly again...like 2 or 3 a year.
My appointment with the ENT was Friday and immediately upon looking in my ear, he told me I have a cholesteatoma. He said, "I'll get you a pamphlet on it." So most of what I have learned has come from this pamphlet and the all-mighty Internet.

A cholesteatoma is defined as an abnormal skin growth in the middle ear behind the eardrum. Repeated infections and/or a tear or retraction of the eardrum can cause the skin to toughen and form an expanding sac. Cholesteatomas often develop as cysts or pouches that shed layers of old skin, which build up inside the middle ear. (((yuck, I know))) Over time, the cholesteatoma can increase in size and destroy the surrounding delicate bones of the middle ear. Hearing loss (got it), dizziness (got that too!), and facial muscle paralysis are rare, but can result from continued cholesteatoma growth.

Cholesteatomas usually occur because of poor eustachian tube function as well as infection in the middle ear. The eustachian tube conveys air from the back of the nose into the middle ear to equalize ear pressure ("clear the ears"). When the eustachian tubes work poorly, the air in the middle ear is absorbed by the body, creating a partial vacuum in the ear. The vacuum pressure sucks in a pouch or sac by stretching the eardrum, especially areas weakened by previous infections. This can develop into a sac and become a cholesteatoma.

A large or complicated cholesteatoma usually requires surgical treatment to protect the patient (me!!) from serious complications. Surgery is performed under general anesthesia in most cases. The primary purpose of surgery is to remove the cholesteatoma so that the ear will dry and the infection will be eliminated. Hearing preservation or restoration is the second goal of surgery. In cases of severe ear destruction, reconstruction may not be possible. Reconstruction of the middle ear is not always possible in one operation; therefore, a second operation may be performed 6-12 months later. The second operation will attempt to restore hearing and, at the same time, allow the surgeon to inspect the middle ear space and mastoid for residual cholesteatoma.

Cholesteatoma is considered a "serious but treatable ear condition". A cholesteatoma should never be ignored. Bone erosion can cause the infection to spread into the surrounding areas, including the inner ear and brain. If untreated, deafness, brain abscess, meningitis, and, rarely, death can occur.

info from American Academy of Otolaryngology

So, now that I've spelled out more than anyone should ever know about cholesteatomas...I must say I'm glad I went and had it looked at and pressed for the referral to the ENT. There is no telling how bad it could have been if I had put it off.
I have to keep my mind positive and not dwell on all the insecurities and fears that are flooding my system right now. I have to keep reminding myself of two of my favorite verses...

Have I not commanded you?

Be strong and courageous!
Do not tremble or be dismayed,

for the Lord your God is with you

wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

Munchkins

My poor little M was sick all weekend. He woke up Saturday with a temperature of about 102. I gave him some Tylenol and it dropped briefly. By about 2:30 or so Saturday afternoon, it was back up and wouldn't go down this time. By 10:00 Saturday night, he woke up with a temp of 104.1 and his nose bleeding. I was pretty nervous by this time. J hardly ever gets sick and has NEVER had a fever that high.


I called the Vanderbilt Nurse's Hot Line and spoke with one nurse who asked if I had any Motrin. I told her I had just bought some and she figured out his dose from his age and weight and told me to give him 1 1/2 teaspoons. So I did..... As I was washing out the dropper, I was reading the back of the Motrin box and it said to give him 1.875 ml and that 5 ml were in a teaspoon. I was thinking OH MY GOSH - I have totally over-medicated him. Needless to say, I called the nurses' line back and spoke with another nurse. She said that that was the correct dosage and asked if I gave him children's Motrin. I told her, "no", that I had given him infants Motrin. She said, in that case, yes, I gave him way too much.


I started to panic a little at that point. It didn't help any that T was holding M on the couch and kindof giving me the evil-eye. I told him that I had just done what the nurse had told me. I have never bought him childrens cold medicine for fever's so it never occured to me that the dosage was not for infants.


Anyway, the nurse three-way called the poison control and they said that he should be fine. I guess Motrin is a lot more forgiving if you give them too much. They said if I had done that with Tylenol, I would have had to take him to the ER. He slept really well that night and didn't have any fever Sunday morning but by mid-morning it was back. Poor little guy, he wasn't hardly eating at all and running a fever too....


By Monday morning, he was still running a fever and they (the Vanderbilt nurses) said that if his fever wasn't gone by Monday to take him to the doctors. So I did. He has a virus that the Dr. said would just have to work out of his system.


By Monday afternoon, his fever was down and has been down since. Thank God!!! He took care of my little M!! - and kept me from freaking out!!